


Code Orange (Batfam/Young Justice Crossover)

by PepperSoniRoni



Series: Batfam Meets Young Justice (unconnected works) [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Banter, Bruce Wayne Has Too Many Kids, Crossover, Gen, Good Older Sibling Dick Grayson, Humor, Jason Todd Being a Little Shit, Jason Todd Swears, Meet the Batfamily (DCU), Mild Language, Post-Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26919757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperSoniRoni/pseuds/PepperSoniRoni
Summary: Garfield was cut off by M'gann grabbing his wrist and flying out of the room as fast as she could. “Code Orange. Code Orange,” M'gann sent out to everyone on the Watchtower. “There is an intruder on the Watchtower! An ‘A’ level Villain. Armed. Repeat, there is an armed villain on the Watchtower.”AKA: Red Hood decides he wants to see the Team, breaks in, and causes havoc. The bats are strangely friendly with someone who was supposed to be their villain.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Garfield Logan & M'gann M'orzz, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, The Team (Young Justice) & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: Batfam Meets Young Justice (unconnected works) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1922461
Comments: 42
Kudos: 850





	Code Orange (Batfam/Young Justice Crossover)

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, I've had this sitting in my docs since … March? Well, i decided to put it out, seeing as I'm FINALLY seeing Season Three! Although this fic doesn't include it. Think of this as post-season two, and just ignoring season three. Full batfam are just never introduced to the Team.
> 
> Anything underlined is spoken through the mind link.

It was a slow weekend on the Watchtower, with no missions, catastrophes, or alien invasions. So most of the Team and League were either at home, or chilling in the space station.

The latter was exactly what Garfield and M'gann were doing. They had been on the Watchtower for the entirety of the morning, playing various types of board games. Every so often someone would pop in on them, but for the most part they were enjoying some sibling bonding time.

“You know what we need?” Garfield asked in the middle of Candy Land.

“No, I thought we were doing just fine the way we were,” M'gann replied, confused.

Garfield scoffed. “Food, obviously! I'm starving! Let's head to the cafeteria and see if Bart left any ice cream.”

*****

They didn't find any ice cream. Though, what  _ was _ there was alarming.

M'gann and Garfield had strode into the cafeteria finding it almost empty. The single occupant was a man in cargo pants, a leather jacket, and a red helmet. He also wore a gray armored shirt, which had some sort of red symbol. The symbol was obscured, however, by the ginormous gun he was cleaning.

M'gann recognized him immediately as the Red Hood, a top-tier crime lord from Gotham.

“Why Hello, Miss Martian. Beast Boy.” Red Hood didn’t even look up.

“Hey sis, did someone new join the team or -”

Garfield was cut off by M'gann grabbing his wrist and flying out of the room as fast as she could. “ Code Orange. Code Orange, ” M'gann sent out to everyone on the Watchtower. “ There is an intruder on the Watchtower! An ‘A’ level Villain. Armed. Repeat, there is an armed villain on the Watchtower. ”

“That was a villain?!” Garfield asked in a surprised voice as he raced along with M’gann.

“Yes, Garfield. Red Hood. I have no idea how he got here though. We need to gather everyone. Make sure they're ready for a fight. Especially Nightwing and Robin, he's a Gotham villain, so they should know what to do.”

Garfield nodded, changed into a hawk, and flew off.

Soon almost everyone was gathered outside the cafeteria's doors. Garfield had yet to bring Nightwing, but Robin was present, and at the front of the group. The only adult leaguer present was Captain Marvel, who had been on monitor duty at the time. The major leaguers - including the big three - were on some sort of low threat level assignment.

“M'gann, report,” Aqualad spoke when he made his way to the front of the group where M'gann stood, blocking Conner from jumping the gun and attacking without a plan.

“Garfield and I were on our way to get some food, when we walked in on The Red Hood cleaning a large gun threateningly. I pulled Gar out as fast as possible and alerted everyone.”

Robin groaned loudly. “Hood? Of all the days to infiltrate the Watchtower, he chose  _ today _ ?”

Aqualad frowned. “You do not seem that alarmed. Is he not as dangerous as we have been told?”

Robin snorted. “Oh, he’s dangerous alright. Tried to kill me multiple times, almost succeeded too. But right now I’m just annoyed.”

Superboy grunted. “That doesn’t matter right now! There is a villain in our lunch room! We need to do something!”

Robin shrugged. “Do what you want. B is gonna kill me either way.”

No one understood what Robin meant, so they decided to follow Kon’s advice. Aqualad took charge.

“We enter on three. Blue Beetle, Rocket, Kid Flash, and Wondergirl go right. Superboy, Lagoon Boy, Miss Martian, and Captain Marvel go left. Zatanna and Robin, follow me. Try to encircle him. Get him talking, and see if we can figure out what he wants. M’gann, link us up.”

Robin grumbled, but nodded along with everyone else. M’gann activated the mind link. Once everyone had given the affirmative, Aqualad began the count.

“One. Two. Three. Go!”

Everyone burst through the doors and assumed their positions. The Red Hood was still sitting where M’gann had said. He was still cleaning his gun, though he paused when the Team entered. 

“Took you long enough. I was getting bored.”

Robin glared at Red Hood. “What are you doing here, Hood?”

The intruder seemed to smile under his helmet. “Why’re you so grumpy today, babybird? I was getting bored in Gotham. Figured I’d stop by and say hello to the Team.” Hood turned to look at the rest of the Team and waved. “Hey Team. Captain Marvel. How’re you doing?”

No one replied. Red Hood sighed and shook his head. “No one cares about me.”

“Dude, there is a full attack force ready to beat the crap out of you,” Blue Beetle said. “I’m pretty sure there are people who care that you’re here.”

Red Hood chuckled. “You couldn’t beat me if you tried. Tell ‘em, Replacement.”

Robin smirked. “Not after what I saw last week. You were taken down by two low level  _ thugs _ .”

Red Hood groaned. “Dude, I was  _ drunk. _ ”

No one had the chance to question this as it was at that exact moment that Beast Boy burst into the room followed closely by Nightwing. He had his escrima sticks out, and looked ferocious.

“Hey ‘wing! Nice of you to join us.” Red Hood sounded positively gleeful.

Nightwing, instead of attacking, groaned and put his weapons away. “ _ This  _ is what you called me for? It's just Hood.”

Aqualad frowned. “Is not the Red Hood a security level A enemy? Shouldn’t you be worried?”

Red Hood shook his head. “Level A? I’m flattered! Maybe you and B  _ do _ care!”

Nightwing sighed, walked over to Hood, and collapsed on the sofa beside him. The Team was shocked to say the least.

“  _ ‘Course _ we care, Hood.” Nightwing said, causing many gasps.

“Nightwing,” Aqualad said, “What are you talking about? Is not this man one of your Rogues? Robin said that he tried to kill him multiple times!”

Nightwing just shrugged. “So? He’s tried to kill me too.”

Red Hood tilted his head as he looked at Robin. “You still go by Robin, here? Boy, Demon-spawn is going to kill you!”

Robin crossed his arms and glared. “It was easier. Do you know how long it takes to change your Zeta Settings?”

Red Hood nodded sagely. “So you were too lazy.”

Robin spluttered, but didn’t deny the accusations. 

“ Are we forgetting, ” Conner said, “ That there is a villain in the Watchtower? How did he get in ?!” 

“Hey Red,” Nightwing asked, grinning, “How’d you get up here, anyway?”

Red Hood seemed to smirk under his helmet. “Blackmail is a glorious thing.”

There was an uproar in the mind link. Accusations flew. Who had Red Hood blackmailed? What did he know about them that could possibly warrant an unauthorized visit to the Watchtower? What was almost as scary was how nonchalant Nightwing seemed. Robin also didn’t seem that worried. In fact he looked … sheepish?

Nightwing laughed. “Whatever he has on you, Robin, must be good!”

“Robin!” M’gann exclaimed. He was the last person anyone expected to be Blackmailed. The bats were so secretive, no one really knew anything about them. This situation with Red Hood being a prime example.

“Hermano,” Blue Beetle said, clearly distressed, “How could you do this?”

Robin just shrugged. “He knew something bad, guys. It couldn’t get out.”

Nightwing looked positively gleeful, the exact opposite of what everyone else was feeling. “Come on, Hood. What did he do?”

Red Hood was shaking with laughter. “He brewed his coffee with a mix of Red Bull and Monster, then topped it off with four Five Hour Energy’s, and three double shots of espresso. When he was on  _ strict orders to sleep _ .”

“Timothy Jackson Drake!” Nightwing exclaimed, sitting up. He seemed more exasperated than angry. “We’ve talked about this! You are going to get yourself killed if you keep going on like this!”

Robin did not look the least bit apologetic. “Hood! You said you wouldn’t tell!”

Red Hood shrugged. “I said I wouldn’t tell Agent A or Bats. You didn’t say anything about Nightwing or the Team.”

Robin collapsed on the nearest chair. “I’m dead, aren’t I?”

Nightwing nodded. “You are  _ so _ grounded after this. I’m telling Agent A, and we’re changing all your coffee to decaf!”

Robin groaned. The rest of the Team was confused. For one thing, that wasn’t necessarily that bad of a thing to hide? Sure it was disgusting, but it's not like Robin killed anyone. For another, who did that to their coffee?! But the most worrisome was how did Red Hood know about that? He must have been close to the bird. And how did he know Agent A? Not even the OG Team members had met the mysterious Agent A, who coordinated and cared for the Bats.

“That still doesn’t answer why there is a villain in our cafeteria!” Rocket exclaimed. There were several agreeing nods. 

Red Hood sighed. “I told you, I’m here to say hi!” He turned to Robin, “I haven’t seen you in ages.” Though he spoke toward Robin, the Team couldn’t help but feel like he was talking to everyone in the room.

Just then, Kid Flash flew into the room. The lightning trailing from his wake crackled quietly as he stopped next to Aqualad.

“I heard that we had an infiltration and - woah! It's the Red Hood! Why didn’t you tell me it was him! Awesome!” There was a flash, and Kid Flash was standing over Red Hood with a notebook and pen in hand. “Can I have your autograph?”

Nightwing looked like he was trying not to laugh, Robin looked slightly peeved, and everyone else was just confused.

Red Hood’s face wasn’t visible, but his body language clearly showed how pleased he was. “Now this is how you should be treating me!” Hood spoke and he signed the page that Kid Flash helpfully pointed out. “How does ‘Red Hood, to the only decent speedster I’ve ever met’ sound?”

Kid Flash was grinning. “Perfect! Thanks so much! All the info surrounding you was pretty vague in the timelines, so I wasn’t sure if you were even back yet! Or working with the bats again. But boy am I glad you are! You’ve always been my favorite! Do you know how cool you are, dude?!”

Red Hood tilted his head. “Of course I do, kid. Glad someone else sees it though.” He seemed to glare at Nightwing as he said the last part, who only shook his head.

Kid Flash got his notebook back and positively bounced over to Blue Beetle. “Dude did you see this? He actually signed it!”

Blue Beetle frowned. “Why did you want his autograph in the first place?” 

Red Hood spluttered, clearly annoyed. “Why  _ wouldn’t _ he?”

“Yeah,” Kid Flash said, “Why wouldn’t I want the autograph of clearly the best Outlaw?” He paused to think. “Are you with the Outlaws yet?”

Red Hood shrugged. “I haven’t seen either of them in a few months, but we are meeting next week for an … outing.”

Nightwing snorted and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “mercenaries and drugs. What could go wrong.”

Red Hood glared at Nightwing. “Like nothing you ever do goes wrong.”

Nightwing snorted. “Yeah, but I never leave a trail of bodies.”

“Okay, one, the bodies were on purpose,” Hood said, “And two, I stopped! No more killing people for widdle ol’ me.”

“Mostly.” Robin said.

“Mostly,” Red Hood agreed.

“ Why is their bickering so familiar ?” M’gann asked.

“ It’s like they’re siblings, ” Captain Marvel replied.

“ Oh Gosh, ” Kid Flash said, “ You guys really don’t - ”

Suddenly Nightwing, Robin and Red Hood stiffened in unison. The air seemed to drop several degrees. Then Batman strode into the room flanked by Superman and Wonder Woman.

“Thank the gods,” Wondergirl said. “This guy just showed up, he said he blackmailed Robin into letting him up, and Nightwing isn’t doing anything about it! Please tell us you -”

“Uncle Clark! Aunt Diana!” Red Hood seemed strangely happy to see the most powerful people in the League. He even knew their civilian names! There were several gasps.

Wonder Woman strode forward, and Red Hood sprang up to meet her. “ Red Hood! So good to see you. How has your life been my little warrior?” They hugged briefly, and Beast Boy almost fainted.

“Pretty good, Aunt Diana.  You know, a  little dark, a little gloomy . And, as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do?”

Robin snorted. “Did you just quote  _ Hercules _ at Wonder Woman? An  _ Amazon _ ?”

Wonder smiled - quite motherly, Kaldur thought in the mind link - at Red Hood. “It's been too long my dear. Next time you have a day off, come find me in Paris. We should spend more time together.”

“I’ll be sure to!”

Wonder Woman stepped to the side to allow Superman forward. “Really, how have you been kiddo?”

“I’m not a kid anymore, supes. Haven’t been since I was fifteen and you know it.” Superman seemed to flinch, which in and of itself was a shock. Red Hood shrugged. “But I’ve been good. Had to deal with these idiots a lot,” he gestured to Nightwing and Robin, both of whom looked indignant, “but … I’ve been good.”

Superman smiled. “Great. You should come to the farm sometime, Ma misses you.”

“He can - he’s gone to the farm?!” Superboy couldn’t hold back his shock. He had only  _ just _ been allowed to go, and meet Ma Kent.

Red Hood nodded as Superman stepped aside to join Wonder Woman. “Of course, I’ve been coming for years.”

Superboy was slack jawed at this revelation, and, despite much cajoling from his teammates, was unable to close his mouth. 

“ _ Hood. _ ” Batman said. He spoke tiredly, in a way no one in the Team had ever heard him use before. “Do you have to traumatize everyone you meet?”

“Oh, you wanna talk about  _ trauma _ ?” Red Hood’s voice was filled with a maliciously gleeful tone. “ ‘Cause you should hear about this one time, I was hanging out with the Joker - just chilling, y’know - and then -”

Red Hood was cut off by a grimacing Nightwing punching him in the shoulder. “Not now, okay?”

“Come on, I’m sure the gang would  _ love _ to hear all the gruesome details …”

“ _ Hood, _ ” Batman repeated slightly more urgently. “What are you doing on the Watchtower?”

Red Hood sighed. “For the last time, I wanted to say hi to the Team. I haven’t seen these guys in ages.”

“We have never met before,” Aqualad said, confused.

Red Hood shook his head. “They don’t remember me.” He seems thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe there weren’t enough explosions.”

“Hood,” Batman continued. “You  _ know _ you aren’t allowed up here without permission. Which you just had to ask for. I would have set up a time to let you see everyone.”

This time when the Team was surprised, Nightwing and Robin joined in; Their faces twin depictions of shock.

Red Hood didn’t seem to care, though. “Since when have I ever asked you for anything, old man. Besides, this way is more fun. Drama, and all that sh*t.” He sat back on the sofa. “You should have seen their faces! Best fun I’ve had since Nightwing and I got drunk in Blüdhaven a few weeks back!”

Batman whirled to Nightwing, who was looking quite sheepish. “You did what?”

Nightwing shrugged. “It had been a long night, and I was getting over a bad break up. Hood was being an outstanding citizen by aiding me in my hour of need!”

“F*** yeah, Big-Wing!”

Batman shook his head. “Hood, you aren’t of legal drinking age, there is no way you were being an outstanding citizen.”

The Team could barely keep up. Nightwing and Red Hood were close enough to get drunk together? Hood was under twenty one? Batman seemed close enough to Hood to  _ know _ he was under twenty one. Well, that last one could be easily explained: he was Batman after all.

Red Hood grumbled his assent before perking up. “Hey bats, is that why you still have me down as a villain on the official League files?”

Batman seemed at a loss for words. He just employed his signature BatGlare™ on the intruder. Red Hood didn’t seem affected at all, which could easily be taken as the most surprising thing about the whole encounter. Even Superman flinched at the BatGlare™.

“Do you understand the mixed signals you’re sending me?” Hood Continued. “I mean, I’m allowed to Sunday dinner, but I’m also classified as one of the most dangerous criminals on earth?”

“Sunday dinner?” Several people asked in unison.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered that you think so high of me, but I changed to f***ing rubber bullets for you! Doesn’t that give me some credit? Or were you just too lazy to change it. Like Replacement over here, who still goes by Robin.”

“Yes, of course you deserve to be taken off the list. You’ve made so much progress. I’ll change your file as soon as I can.” He frowned. “And for the love of god, please call Tim by his name, or hero moniker.”

“Yeah, call me by my name, Hood!” Robin seemed to be rolling his eyes under his domino mask. “There’s a first time for everything.”

Red Hood looked appeased. “Good.” He collapsed back on the couch and continued to clean his gun. 

Batman sighed. “Do you want something else?” 

“Well, now that you’re asking …” Red Hood seemed exceptionally sly. “It is getting a bit boring in here.” he paused as if to think. “Hey! We should throw a party! "

Batman glowered. "No. The last time I let you have a party, the Bat cave was covered in glitter for three days straight!"

“You’ve held parties in the Batcave?” Aqualad asked.

Red Good sighed and shook his head. "Good times, good times. But you forget that that glitter was  _ purple _ . I wasn’t completely to blame!”

Batman sighed once more, while Robin sat up straight.

“Is  _ that _ why Spoiler didn’t come to the house for a week?” 

Nightwing nodded. “Yup. She was too scared to see Agent A. Though she wouldn’t mind yelling at B.”

“And flip him off while doing so.” Red Hood sighed contentedly. “I taught her well.”

“You didn’t teach her anything!” Nightwing contradicted. “She’s been flipping people off since before you returned to Gotham! She gave the single-fingered salute B when they first met - with a smile on her face!”

The Team wondered who could be so brave, none of them were.

Red Hood seemed overjoyed. “Really? Why haven’t I heard about this before! How did Batsy react?”

“Like a deer in headlights,” Robin replied, smirking. 

Red Hood began to clap. “She makes the Robin legacy proud, doesn’t she?”

“ Does that mean this girl was a Robin? ” Rocket asked. 

“ Batman reacted like a deer in headlights? ” Captain Marvel added.

Nightwing nodded sardonically. “Yes, because pissing off Batman is exactly what I had in mind when I started Robin.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised, Golden Boy,” Red Hood snorted, “You’ve swung off of and broken enough chandeliers for it to be coincidance.”

Nightwing grimaced. “So there have been some casualties.”

Batman shook his head. “Casualties?”

Robin nodded quite seriously. “Of course, B. How else would you know to get gymnastic equipment?”

“He could have asked. Instead I had to spend thousands of dollars every time Nightwing decided he wanted to try some new trapeze routine.” Batman shook his head. “Why do all of you decide it's your job to vandalize my home?”

Robin raised his hands. “Hey, I didn’t destroy anything important!”

“No, you just randomly got rid of my computers when you decided we needed an upgrade.”

“Well we did!”

“Hah! I’ve never done any permanent damage to your house!” Red Hood seemed very self satisfied.

Batman, Nightwing, and Robin paused for a moment, thinking.

“That,” Robin said, “Is truly depressing.”

“Hn,” Batman replied.

“Good job Hood,” Nightwing said, “You have managed not to disappoint B in  _ one _ field.”

Red Hood seemed to roll his eyes. “Don’t worry, I make up for it in all the other ways!”

“Can someone  _ PLEASE  _ explain to me what’s going on?” Garfield asked, bouncing in place.

All the bats turned to look at him in unison, causing the kid to shrink back and hide behind M’gann. A moment later, though, Red Hood sighed audibly. He reached up and felt for some hidden latches in his hamlet. There was a click and he pulled it off. Underneath was a red domino mask. He reached up and pulled that off next.

There were several gasps from the OG Team. The man before them was older, his jaw-line matured, scars littering his face. He had a white streak in his hair and blue eyes rimmed with a pulsing poisonous green. But they still recognized him.

“What?” Zattanna whispered, her eyes wide.

“You’re …” Conner began,shocked, “You’re alive?”

“How?” Rocket asked. “You were  _ dead _ .”

In unison, the five people who knew the stranger turned to Nightwing.

“You said you wouldn’t fake any more deaths!” M’gann announced, anger flowing through her.

“How could you, Dick?” Kaldur asked, frowning insteansly. “No more secrets, you promised.”

Nightwing sighed. “I had no part in this, let me tell you. It was the Al Ghuls. We didn’t find out till a year ago.”

“That’s still a year you took to tell us!” Conner glared.

Nightwing shrugged. “It was extenuating circumstances, alright? Not completely my choice.”

Seeing that questioning Dick would be fruitless, Zatanna turned back to the Red Hood. “how are you alive?”

He grinned. “The Lazarus Pit does wonders for the skin, let me tell you.”

This brought a stir throughout the room. Everyone had heard of the legendary substance that granted Ra’s Al Ghul immortality.

“Someone still needs to tell me who this is,” Cassie said, her hands on her hips.

Batman sighed. “Everyone, this is Jason Peter Todd, my son, and the second Robin.”

Everyone who didn’t already know blinked several times.

“The hologram in the park?” Jaime asked. “The one who was killed by the Joker?”

“The very one!” Jason grinned. “Nice to know some people know me.”

“I thought there were only two Robins?” La'gaan stated more than asked with a frown.

In unison, Nightwing, Red Hood, Robin, and even Superman started to laugh.

“Oh kid,” Jason said, grabbing his sides, “you’re adorable!”

“Only two Robins,” Superman said, grinning, “Batman wishes.”

Nightwing was choking with laughter, but once he’d calmed down, he looked at La’gaan again, and proceeded to break down again.

“Two Robins?!” Robin looked in awe, “Wow, now that’s a thought.”

“I’m sorry?” La'gaan asked. He didn’t look sorry.

“There have been five Robins,” Red Hood explained after a moment, “Six if you count that new kid. But that whole thing was kinda weird.”

“Six?!” several people announced, and looked at Batman, who nodded.

“How come we’ve never met them?” M’gann asked, “Nightwing, how could you not have told us?”

“You haven’t met them ‘cause most of the bats stick to Gotham,” Robin answered, “there hasn’t a need to drag everyone up here. Let alone the Robins.”

“Wait,” Zattanna said, “There are more bats?”

NIghtwing laughed again. “Oh boy, you guys really know nothing? Do any of you pay attention to Gotham?” There were several sheepish smirks, and Nightwing sighed. “Artemis is the only one who actually gets this, isn’t she?”

Jason frowned. “I wish she was here today, I wanted to say high.” he then looked at the still confused faces of the hero community. He stood up dramatically, as if about to start a grand speech.“Okay, rundown. You know Batman, obviously. Dicky-bird over there was the first Robin. I was the second. Then you have Timbo who was the third-”

“Was?” several people asked.

“I still go by Robin up here ‘cause it's easier-”

“He’s too lazy to change his codes, we already established this,” Jason interrupted, glaring, “After him you have Robin four, that was for the time that Tim’s dad banned him from the roll. Then he died, and she died, so Tim was back to being Robin.” he ignored the several open mouthed faces and persevered, “then you have the little gremlin who’s currently Robin. He’s the ‘bloodson’ which he takes very seriously, so don’t tell him that just because daddybats over there and Talia Al Ghul hooked up means that he’s the F***ing savior.” Everyone turned to stare at Batman.

“Talia Al Ghul?” Jaime asked, “Isn’t she an assassin?”

“Yup!” Nightwing announced, drawing attention onto him. “And the kid’s a cutie!” 

Tim scoffed. “That’s not half the bats though,” he pointed out. “You have Batwoman, Batwing … hey, Azrael counts, right?”

“I mean,” Dick said, “He was Batman at one point, and lives in Gotham so yeah. He’d probably not want to be called that though.”

Jason laughed. “He and Leslie think we’re all crazy. I mean, they’re right, but still.”

Tim laughed. “Yup! Then you have the batgirls, number one, you guys know her. She’s Oracle now, a behind the scenes tech support  _ goddess _ . Then Batgirl number two, she goes by Black Bat now, takes care of Hong Kong when she’s not visiting home and being the favorite child.”

Batman frowned. “I don’t have favor-”

“You do.” All three former Robins said in unison.

“So yeah,” Dick continued, “She’s awesome. Easily kicks our butts - including B! But after her you have Spoiler, the third Batgirl, and fourth Robin. After her there’s Catwoman -” there were several gasps. “Oh yeah, she and Bats are totally a thing - have been for years. You wouldn’t be surprised if you saw their flirting! There was this one time when I was Robin, I was supposed to case a building while B went after Cat, right? Well when i got there, they were already half-”

“That’s enough.” Batman growled, and Nightwing grinned.

“Moving on!” Jason announced, “since we all have horrible memories of batcat freaky roof time, you have Huntress, and Blue Bird. Then The Signal - he was kinda a half Robin, in a gang war sort of way. But that’s not important. He’s the only meta protege of batsy’s, and if that doesn’t scream second favorite child, I don’t know what does!”

“You allow metas in Gotham now?!” Garfield asked. 

“No.” all the bats announced in unison.

“Signal is the exception, and if you met him, you’d understand. Easily the sanest out of all of us.” Jason explained with a wink.

“ _ Relatively _ the sanest!” Tim announced. “He literally jumped out of a police car, of a bridge, into the Gotham river, while saying ‘I am Robin. Plus, he handled the demon spawn on a rampage. He’s just as crazy as the rest of us.”

“None of this explains why we haven’t met these people!” Connor said.

Batman sighed heavily. “Fine. I’ll set up a meeting, check out who’s in town and such. Not today though, there’s a drug bust going down and no one’s available. Besides, they don’t even know what’s going on up here.”

Jason let out an awkward cough, and sat gingerly down on the couch. He seemed … guilty?

“Jason.” Batman growled in warning.

“I’m sorry, B!” Jason said, despite looking more along the lines of gleeful. “Blondie asked what I was doing today, and you know how hard it is to lie to her!”

Batman groaned - honest to gosh groaned! - and pinched the bridge of his nose. “She’s on her way right now, isn’t she?”

Jason shrugged. “She said something about grabbing snacks.”

Tim groaned. “We’re all dead.”

“What’s going on?” M’gann asked, “Why would this be bad?”

Dick sighed. “Spoiler is just … special.”

As if on cue, the door to the room crashed open dramatically, smoke seeping in. A purple clad figure stood dramatically in its wake, her cape swirling and arms raised over her head. She held two boxes of Munchkins in each fist.

“What’s up B*tches?” She asked. “I brought donuts!”


End file.
